The Reading Warehouse

It's hard work being a liberal these days. When you hate things most Americans love, it's tiring to have to endlessly correct/educate/fix/enlighten the poor dullards out there who just want to enjoy their lives. But it's not too late, liberals, to join the fun! C'mon, crack open a Bud and throw another T-bone on the grill. But kindly check your disdain at the door when it comes to:

WALMART: How about a handmade, locally sourced flat-screen television instead?

STEAKHOUSES: There's no steamed tofu on this menu.

MCDONALD'S: The stranger in the playground handing out candy to children.

FLAG PINS: It's okay to love America, but not enough to wear it on your lapel.

FOOTBALL: War with cleats and pads.

THE V-8 ENGINE: There's just something plain wrong about all that power and

freedom under the control of one person.

SUCCESS: When you make more money than the rest of us, it hurts our feelings.

THE FOUNDING FATHERS: A bunch of old white guys who are making it nearly

impossible for modern government to pick our doctors, teach our children, correct our

diets, and save our money.

. . . and 42 other darn good reasons to lock the doors, crank up the A/C, turn on the game,

and let the countdown begin. . . .